Carpentry for beginners
To begin with, the direction on the circle of an old-fashioned clock's face in which the hour and minute hands travel over time is called "clockwise." If something were to travel in the other direction, it would be said to be turning "counter-clockwise."
If you take your time checks on your smart phone, you may have go find a courthouse to see what a real clock looks like.
Nails are slim shafts of steel that are hammered into wood by a heavy metal object called, appropriately, a hammer. One end is pointed, the other flat. The flat end is called the nail's head. The hammer has a handle, usually of wood, sometimes of titanium, about 14 inches long. The hammer's hand should be applied at the end farthest from the hammer's metal end, or head. The head of the hammer should be applied to the head of the nail.
Nails (and screws) enter the wood or other soft material pointy-end first, like boats. Both function because they cut and spread the fiber of the wood just enough for entry, forcing the cut ends downward. This resists the nail from slipping out.
The nail is held by a finger and the thumb of one hand. The hammer is swung at the head of the nail by the other hand. Practice usually is necessary to learn this skill. This is said to be one of the rare times the name of Jesus Christ is invoked in a Unitarian Universalist church.
An early Sesame Street skid had two moronic carpenters about to fasten two boards together. The dialogue:
"You hold the hammer and I'll hold the nail and when I nod my head you hit it."
"I'll hold the hammer and you'll hold the nail and when you nod your head I'm to hit it?"
"Right. When I nod my head, you hit it."
"Okaaaaaay!"
Nails come in various lengths and thicknesses, according to their use. Generally, the heavier the boards, the longer and sturdier the nails. Nails sizes are referred to as "pennies," represented by the letter "d". The smallest we may see in church is a 6d, or 6-penny nail, about 2 inches long. Most will be out of sight, finishing nails in the wooden molding on door or window frames.
(Unlike flat-head
nails, finishing nails have a slim head that is hammered beneath the
wood's surface with a pointed steel tool called a nail set. This
leaves a shallow hole that can be filled with a fast-drying material.
When painted over, the nail is invisible. If you don't see any finishing nails on your door frame, that's where they are.)
Six-penny nails also are common in wooden fences, holding vertical slats to the horizontal boards that link the fence posts. Those boards, usually 2x4s, often are held to the posts with 10-penny nails. Eight-penny nails are handy for small repairs and making, say, dog houses. Tens are the minimum for pounding into garage studs for handing garden tools. Twelves are better.
There are 20-penny nails but their use is restricted to carpenters who know what the heck they're doing, and who can afford $300 titanium hammers. The real lumber stores have nails that come only one to the dozen, they're so big.
Screws are designed with a slightly tapered shaft with a spiral flute that cuts into the wood, spreading its fibers. To cause a
screw to enter the wood, you must turn it clockwise. This screw is said
to have "a right-hand thread." That is because the direction of the
screw at the top of its circle, or 12 o'clock, is to the right.
(If
you are a carpenter and changing the blade on your electric, circular
saw, sometimes you will encounter a bolt with a left-hand thread, or one
that turns counter-clockwise. Real bicyclists know that one of the foot
pedals also has a left-hand thread, to keep it from unwinding itself
while the bike is in motion. Since we don't sanction the use of
electric saws in church, and you don't ride a bicycle, this need not
concern us further.)
Since olden times, the head of screws had a rectangular slot cut into it. This is called a standard screw. Into the slot is inserted the flat blade of a screwdriver. A screwdriver is a foot-long shaft of metal with one end flattened into the "blade" and at the other a wooden or plastic cylinder, often fluted, called the handle. You hold the handle with one end and the screw with the thumb and fingers of the other. Nobody likes screws with standard heads. You'll soon learn why. "Mother of God" is a common prayer in these moments.
More common in our modern times is the Philips-head screw. This has--no coincidence--a cross imprinted into the head. Inserted into this is, appropriately, a Philips-head screwdriver. These may be handheld, like the standard, flat-bladed screwdriver. Some screws have both a flat and Philips head, combined. Blessed be.
Increasing in use is the cordless screwdriver, powered by a rechargeable battery. The driver, as it is commonly called, has a switch, usually of three positions, near the trigger. Pushed one way, the motor drives the driver clockwise, for inserting the screw; the other way, counterclockwise, to extract it from the wood. Often, there is a middle position, for "Off," so that the screwdriver is not accidentally turned on, say when it is tossed in a box with other tools.
The cordless driver, however, must be periodically recharged in plugged-in, 120-volt receptacle called the charger. Drivers come in various voltages, from tiny and almost useless 5.6-volt "Derringers," to hefty 24-volt hand-helds that will rip your arm out of the socket if the screw binds. Most are between 8 and 18 volts. But at least one spare battery. Recharge a bettery as soon as you take it out of the driver. Keep going with the second battery. Good chargers use an LED light to tell you it's charging, and when it's done. Cheaper ones don't, and they burn up the batteries, luring you to buy more. Replacement batteries often cost more than the driver itself that you bought "On Special."
Screws, like nails, come in numbered sizes. Heads vary in diameter, but nobody really knows what the numbers mean. Length is important. Half-inch screws are useful for mounting tiny, brass hinges on an office mail box, for instance. One-inch Philips-heads are rare, but useful for screwing into plaster walls for hanging lightweight, plastic clocks. One and five-eights-inch Philips-heads are handy for going through plaster walls into wooden studs, for hanging, say, a crucifix, or a bookshelf. Three-inch Philips-heads will join a pair of 2x4s safely.
A word of caution--both screws and nails can split wood beyond the desired entry hole. Especially vulnerable is wood with knots--those resin-heavy spots that indicate where a smaller branch once grew inside the larger log. Wood can also split close to the end of a piece of lumber. And wood hardens with age, so that any lumber in a building as old as hours (60-100 years, considering additions and remodeling) can split, or be almost impenetrable. Play it safe, and pre-drill a hole that is smaller in diameter than the nail or screw to be inserted. This may seem tedious but with fast-chuck hex-head drivers and drills, whatever little job you're going to be doing in our building, this will only save you time and frustration (No use invoking the names of deities you don't even believe in!).
Screws and nails should each be stored separately, according to size and shape. If you don't have the original, labeled box, keep them in labeled margarine tubs Not glass jars, ever!
Don't save bent nails, or screws with stripped or worn heads. If this church can't afford new ones, the treasurer isn't doing his job.
No comments:
Post a Comment